I'm Just Sayin...
Guys Holding Hands, Big Deal or No?
4/27/2011 10:00:27 AM
Here’s a pop  quiz for you. The latest You Tube video to go viral shows two NBA players from the Toronto Raptors, Leandro Barbosa and Reggie Evans, holding hands. Please choose the reason they did this: 

Spur of the moment camaraderie after ending a six game losing streak. 
A joke, they knew the cameras were rolling.
Barbosa is from Brazil, accepted with friends in different cultures.
They are gay.

The correct answer here would be of course, "Who cares?” But based on the vitriolic comments to the clip, so bad in fact that You tube had to disable the comment section, many folks do care. And of course this begs the question of why is it such a big deal in 2011 whether two men want to hold hands for any reason at all? 

Quite simply, homophobia is still alive and well. This is partly due to a variety of religious and cultural attitudes, but it’s mainly based on fear. Fear that somewhere deep inside us lurks a homosexual side and if we’re not very careful this will break free and take control of our world, and of us. 

The greater the fear, the more aggressive the response and a video like this triggers that fear on a subconscious level with two prominent reactions. 

First, abhorrence that these two macho professional athletes may be, gasp, gay. We know there are many individuals out there that consider homosexuality a crime against nature or god or society. Only time and education will eventually make a difference with that. 

But the second response, is by far the more problematic. Even those that consider themselves progressive and tolerant feel the need to defend the action by coming up with numerous explanations for why this was "not gay” as opposed to saying, "Seriously? Who cares?”

This video represents an amazing barometer as to how much tolerance for homosexuality we really have as a society. Until a vid such as this garners barely a passing glance or a only a few meager comments, there is still much to be done with regard to the mantra; live and let live.


Posted by: Dr. Dale Archer | Submit comment | Tell a friend

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12 Comments
4/30/2011 11:06:58 AM
It's hard to believe people are such intolerant babies. My mother was homophobic but my dad was exceedingly tolerant for someone born in 1909. As a nearly 40-year-old adult, I went to Hollywood on business (a music convention) and my mother, then in her 70s, called me there hysterical begging me not to go to San Francisco (which was never on the agenda) because she truly believed lesbianism was catching. Looking back, I really do wonder if she was a latent lesbian, the kind who would never act on it because of her upbringing and generation. She always gave off subtle disapproval to just about anything sexual, whereas my dad faulted in the opposite direction. The first time my brow went up was when she was waxing poetic about Julie Andrews' beauty and grace, though she did find some men attractive as well. Her extreme fear, as Dr. Archer says, is the leading trait here. I guess as an independent strong-willed decisive person, I am confused how one individual can be threatened by the preferences of another. They must be so unsure of themselves or not be really grounded in their own identity, or how could they think this could possibly affect them or influence or change them. They must feel vulnerable. So when I see all this excessive posturing on the issue, I see a lost and confused person with a mean streak.
DDA
5/2/2011 9:17:24 AM
Thank you for posting your interesting comments, Lola.
5/4/2011 9:41:09 PM
Very good Posting Dr. Archer, may I ask what your religion is?
DDA
5/5/2011 4:39:51 PM
Nope, I need to be able to treat all folks regardless of religion, so I choose not to discuss my views.
5/10/2011 4:52:02 AM
It's too bad that our society has progressed so far that all we see is bad. We can no longer touch, or even talk to each other without someone trying to put a negative spin on it. A hug or a touch should not be viewed as anything other than what it is, two people that felt close enough for a minute, for some reason, to reach out. Let's face it, we are no longer even tolerant of a the little old man talking to a child. Instead of a person basking in the wonderment of youth, he is now a dirty old man, or perhaps even a perverted pedophile. People forget that sometimes a rock is just a rock (not a weapon to be used by destructive youth) I feel saddened that people find some kind of gratification, in the putting down of others. Perhaps people's lives are no longer interesting enough for them to enjoy, so they have to try to find (or make) drama in someone else's. I also do not quite understand, how you can hate someone, just because of who they love. True love should be celebrated. By the way, I'm a heterosexual, I just believe in love:)
DDA
5/10/2011 9:45:05 PM
How true, Lynn. It's a sign of the times, unfortunately, where EVERYTHING is over-analyzed to death.
5/11/2011 5:16:26 PM
I've always thought a cornerstone of maturity was when the lightbulb goes off that of necessity, everyone is different, that there isn't one right way to be. I really think most people start off thinking there is only one right way. I don't think anyone really matures until they realize everyone isn't like them and that that is okay and the way it should be.
DDA
5/12/2011 11:04:05 AM
Agreed Lola, but then there are lots of immature people out there regardless of age.
5/13/2011 8:54:57 AM
Yes. And I think sometimes someone just has to suggest to them that there's not just one way, because if you grow up without diversity, as I did, it may not occur to you, especially if you're not a very introspective person to begin with. And many churches teach you that there's only one way, too. So I do think that someone close to the person sometimes needs to just put the idea in their head that not everyone is like them and let them chew on that awhile.
DDA
5/13/2011 3:10:58 PM
You're right, Lola. Sometimes we need to be nudged, pushed even shoved to realize that diversity is everywhere.. Tolerance is the key.
5/18/2011 5:58:46 PM
This has made my day. I wish all potsings were this good.
DDA
5/19/2011 3:31:01 PM
I'll keep trying, Kayli!
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