If I could find a way to package and dispense hope, I would have a pill more powerful than any antidepressant on the market. Hope really matters. As long as a patient, individual or victim has hope, they can recover from anything that life throws their way.
However, if they lose hope, unless you can help them get that back, all is lost. One thing I can tell you is that hope is like an emotion that springs from the heart, not the brain. Hope lays dormant until it's amazing strength is beckoned, supplying the sheer will that you will overcome, you will prosper or you will endure anything and everything.
Hope is the belief that circumstances will get better. It's not a wish for things to get better -- it's the actual belief, the knowledge that things will get better, no matter how big or small. It can be the hope that you will get a promotion at work. It's the belief that at 55 you find out you've lost your home, car, savings -- everything material, but you still have your health and family, and you can start over.
It is the steadfast determination of the cancer patient who fights, believing that eventually a cure will come. Sometimes hope looks so bleak in a given situation, yet is so vital for survival, that virtually everyone who survives a life threatening ordeal will point to hope as the one thing to get them through. It is this very hope which champions the survivor, even in the bleakest of times.
When I had the privilege of working with the victims of both Hurricanes Katrina and Rita, I quickly found that there were two types of physical survivors: psychological victims and psychological survivors. I realized that the mindset had nothing to do with money, education, how much, how many or who was lost.
* Psychological victims: these individuals are passive, pessimistic and look to the past. They ask, "Who will help me?" They despair and are consumed by their loss, unable to help themselves.
* Psychological survivors: these individuals are active, optimistic and look to the future. They ask, "How can I help myself?" They grieve, which is healthy, but then they spring into action.
It did not take long to realize that my primary responsibility was to turn the victim mindset into a survivor mindset, and that meant restoring or instilling hope. To have hope is to empower yourself in order to face the toughest of times and emerge a survivor. Here are the things I found to be most important:
*Faith. The belief that there is something bigger and more important than you. Whether it's God, a higher power, a child, a loved one, a mission or a cause. It is a reason to go on, and that it has nothing to do with you.
*Gratitude. Focus on what you have to be thankful for, not on what you don't have or what you have lost or what you want. Remind yourself of this every day.
*Love. Think about the people in your life that you love and those that love you -- family and friends. Make it a point to connect often with each and every one. This is best accomplished in person, but as we know that is not always possible. A phone call, text or a quick email will do.
When you go through times of stress and pain, yet know without a doubt that this, too, shall pass, then you have Hope. And THAT alone is enough to make you a psychological survivor.
